Fall is Coming

The temperature was in the 70's today.  Nice.  You could actually see your breath this morning.  I am digging this.  Much better than the sweltering heat we've been getting.  Here's a picture that Carol took a couple weeks ago of the bank that's right outside of the base:

111 degrees?  That's crazy talk.  I am reminded once again that "you in the South now boy."  Enjoy the weather wherever you are.

Fortune Cookie

Check out this fortune cookie that I got from CJ:

I gotta say that this particular fortune cookie maker possesses incredible penmanship.

So I've got this idea for a new style of fortune cookie.  It's a humorous spin-off called "Misfortune Cookies."  They'll have terrible fortunes inside like, "Your house will burn down tomorrow" or "You will come down with a horrid case of diarrhea after eating chinese food."  You know, something to giggle at instead of reading the same old sunshine in a bottle stuff that you get from normal fortune cookies.

You know what.  I better check something first.  Stand by please...

Dang it.  Just googled "misfortune cookies."  Someone already had the same idea:

Survivor

I admit it.  I'm a reality TV junkie.  The whole family is into it.  One of our favorites is Survivor.  So I'm on a work trip to Norfolk, Virginia a few weeks ago and who do I see at the quarters on base but none other than...

...Rudy from the very first Survivor show.  We got to talk a little bit.  He was in town for a Navy SEAL reunion.  Very cool.  He's probably one of my all-time favorite Survivors.  Too bad he didn't win.  That's one tough guy.

Padded Underwear

There's talk of Jennifer Lopez becoming one of the new judges on American Idol.  I hear there are a lot of complications to that plan.  She'd command a pretty hefty salary.  She'd also need two dressing rooms - one for her and one for her butt.

Speaking of butts, check out this pair of underwear for sale at a store in Korea:

Yup, padded buttocks.  Sheesh, I've got no room to talk because of my bad case of gone-ass. I guess if you're really self-conscious about your backside, these babies would do the trick.  All of your problems would be behind you.  Until next time.

Workhorses Part II - Air Conditioning

So I had a glaring omission from my last blog post on workhorses - you know, those simple things that labor quietly in the background while drastically improving our lives.  Two words.  Air conditioning.

It was a day after I wrote about workhorses.  The whole family went to the Melting Pot.  It was the first time for the boys to do fondue.  We were smart enough to make reservations.  The inquisitive CJ asked why we still had to wait 15 minutes if we had a reservation.  Good point son.  Chalk it up to the mysteries of life, kinda like why we look at the toilet paper after we wipe our butts.  I digress.

When Carol called to make a reservation, the Melting Pot receptionist left out one important morsel of information - their air conditioner was busted and wouldn't be fixed for a couple of days.  When you're throwing down a Ben Franklin plus some of his cousins for some eats, you'd rather not dine in a pool of your own sweat.  This ain't a cool outdoor San Diego Gas Lamp district dining experience we're talking about.  This is Memphis, Tennessee where profuse sweating is the official leisure activity.

I have to say though, the food was mighty good.  Even though my face was covered in a beaded curtain of sweat balls, I did enjoy everything on the table.  What's not to like about dipping luscious meats, bread and desserts into melted cheese and chocolate?

We got the Yin & Yang mix of dark and white chocolate.  What's that saying in the south?  It was so good it'll make you wanna slap yo' momma.


Anyway, that night I was reminded of that most important of workhorses - air conditioning.  What a great invention.  We do take it for granted, don't we?  As if air conditioning is our birthright, something we're entitled to.  Millions of people around the world have no knowledge of air conditioning.  That technology has escaped them and their entire country.  For most Americans, air conditioning is just something we grumble about during the summer cause it makes our electricity bills more expensive.  Shoot, we need to show air conditioning some love!

When we drove Carol's car from St. Louis after it arrived from Korea, the air conditioning went out.  CJ and I rolled the windows down, cranked up the Van Halen and made the best of it, but it was a challenging drive.  While flying in the Persian Gulf in the middle of the summer, air conditioning in the jet was not only a great luxury, it was a necessity.  You simply could not fly without your air conditioning.  I love you AC!

Anyway, next time you enter a room and you feel the soft, cool breeze of air conditioning caressing your face, say a quick thank you to Mr. Willis Haviland Carrier, inventor of the first modern air conditioning unit.  And be happy that you don't have a bead of sweat going down your butt crack.